The book starts with the author, Paul, getting diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. I should start with the fact that I’m frightened of the disease. It is one thing that I wish I wasn’t aware of. I wish I could invoke “Ignorance is bliss” on matters of cancer. But unfortunately I know about it. I have read a brief introducton to what cancerous cells are and what they can do in Immune by Philipp Dettmer. And I made some sense of its history through The Emperor of All Maladies by Siddhartha Mukherjee. I know how stealthily the disease can grow within someone and I know how deadly it can become. I can understand the strength that is needed to fight such a horrible disease. This knowledge drove my empathy towards Paul a bit deeper than I expected. I wish we, humans, come up with a cure for it sooner.
At the beginning of the book, you will notice that Paul already has accepted his fate. He even mentions this at a later point in the book. The general lifecycle of trauma does not apply to him. He started with acceptance. Though the book is actually written post facto, the narration guides you through what Paul went through through multiple stages of his life after the diagnosis. His writing does not backdown on conveying the amount of determination he was carrying to face whatever is coming his way.
Amongst many things, the book also serves as Paul’s legacy that he leaves to his daughter. There is a message in the book that he leaves for his daughter at the end on how she should not discount her role in his life. Although being just 8 months old, the joy it gave him is enormous. It was moving what he said.
Last but not the least, Paul’s wife, Lucy, is a hero. She deserves all the appreciation in the world for standing strong with Paul and his decision to bring a baby into the world knowing that he won’t be around. The way she narrates how Paul’s last moments were and how she was witness to the battle that her husband was fighting, will shake you.
Overall, the book is an experience. Althought its not something I wish anyone, including myself will have to go through. But it does build our ability to empathise with someone who is going through similar but hopefully less daunting pain. In Lucy’s words, “What happened to Paul was tragic, but he was not a tragedy”.